New Chapter

A new chapter has begun in my life. my mind has had a short, the power surged for just a moment and now it almost feels erased, in a beautiful  cleansing way. I feel as though the old, rough, sanded down moments of my life have been placed in a drawer in an old teak dresser and put inside some 80s jewish thrift shop to be sold, or maybe no one will ever buy it, it looked a little beat up. The knobs had become a little rusted, the paint chipped on the top. I left a sticker on its cheek for a little too long, I wasn’t able to peal off all the white sticky paper that always gets left behind. It’s a good dresser though, it had been in my family for years. We brought the vintage piece across the state with us from Texas when we made the move to Florida. It survived the top of our station wagon for 48 hours of driving. Maybe no one would ever buy it in the thrift store..maybe it will sit along the back wall until they decide to just throw the aged set of creaking drawers out or burn it..

 It feels amazing. My heart has been revamped, ready for this new chapter. I feel as though everything that has happened to me in life up to this point has happened so that I could be at THIS point, this new chapter. Every relationship, every big horrible uncontrollable unpredictable unavoidable moment that I made it through, every trip I took to leave  my cluttered battered mind. Every road trip to clear my head of the things that haven’t made sense for so long, every person I’ve met and exposed myself to, every person I tried to interpret, tried to understand and was never able to reach, every smile I passed and tried to look deeper into with whatever I could work with,. Every wasted tear, every blank stare, every lost look that ever made it across my face. Every depth i've down to, every swell i've chased, every wipeout, every road rash. The places I’ve lived, the people I lived with (and through). Those pauses in time, pauses in my life that awoke another system of electric amplified nerves in my brain, in my heart, in my veins!

 I'm stoked for this new chapter, I cannot wait to see the person I continue to evolve into . I cannot wait to see the types of people that God walks into my life. I cannot wait to grow further as this person and experience what this life is offering me. Although I cannot picture the next bend or even what type of pavers are being  put down on this road (if they ever pave it), i have realized and love the support I have backing me, the smiles that await me no matter the amount of time that elapses in between them.. (476)