let go

My mind is full.
Work. Money. School. Writing this paper. Room mates. Working out. Parents. Tom. Gas. Surfing. Tomorrow night. The night after that. This weekend. Next year.
Hating this. Hating this.
The drive is long and silent. I don’t turn on any music. I let my thoughts blaze. My eardrums almost blow out. The car vibrates from the bass. Animals run into the woods when I drive by them its so loud. Honda takes every turn tight, flying. The trees are a blur. My eyes are fixed on the dotted white line running down the middle of the black asphalt. Work money school blah blah blah. I need to be there now. My phone vibrates against some change in the cup holder. I glance down at it, but I don’t’ feel like talking to them right now. I feel like being there. That’s all. I drive through a few small unlit towns. Everyone’s long gone to sleep. I couldn’t tonight. Too much clogs my brain. I need to get rid of it. I need some kind of brain plunger. But I haven’t found where they sell that in Wal Mart. I’m going to the only place that can naturally “plunge” out my thoughts. My foot aches at the pedal. It just wants to be there. My legs cramp, they want the same thing. I don’t blame them. This is way too far to go for a break from it all. But I have no choice. My speedometer reads 90. Fuck it, I need speed. Finally I see a familiar sign, I’m so close. The road starts to show me I’m even closer, as sand creeps into the middle of it. I squeal into the empty parking lot. Tiny flickering lights illuminate an also empty pier. My bare feet find themselves rushing toward the moonlit sand. Ahhhh. Finally. My body lets go. The sand warms my toes. I fall into it, covering my body, scattering through my hair. I gaze up at the million stars staring down at me. I wish I was up there with them. I want that perspective. I sink deeper into the moist earth. I sink deeper. After a few moments of finally being here, I ease up and gaze out into the black horizon. I admire the peaceful ocean. A chilly wind blows over me. I close my eyes. I salty mist coasts my face. My body shutters.
My mind is empty. (408)